I’m a rescuer. I want to jump in there and make everything right for everyone around me. I hate conflict and prefer sunshine. When there is conflict, I want to make it better. It’s not necessarily a bad quality totally, there are times when it is exactly what needs to be done.
Here’s the pitfalls (a pitfall is an unforeseen or unexpected difficulty or disaster – or a trap in the form of a concealed hole):
- Rescuing is close to enabling and most people know that enabling never helps at all. There are times when you are better off to stay out of the fray. It helps the other parties learn to resolve their own problems and develop solutions.
- When you are known as a rescuer and then deliberately try to stay out of a conflict, you will still get blamed. You’re the one who usually finds the solutions. But if you decide they should solve their own problems, those around you may be mad at you for not helping.
- Emotionally, rescuing is draining. You find yourself tired and out of energy or tired and out of focus even when you have work to be done. You find it hard to move out of a mood.
- Physically, rescuing takes a toll. You need to find outside sources for replenishment and soul restoring because the people you are rescuing will not do that for you. You need to take care of you.
- Financially, rescuing is a burden. When you either throw money you don’t necessarily have to help someone solve a problem or just can’t focus on doing your own work, you aren’t solving the problem at all.
Thoughts? Any other rescuers out there?