Photo by meddygarnet

There are times when we all get to the point where we are just exhausted. Pushing too hard to reach our goals. Or as others say, burning the candle at both ends.

It’s at that point when we just need to step back and say enough. Examine how many “Yeses” we have and figure out how we can recharge. Perhaps all we see is fog and we need a just for me kind of day.

The issues we face won’t necessarily go away but the time spent just pulling away from our incessant demands may give us a new perspective.

Spring has been very slow to come in Wisconsin and with all of the conflict our state has seen, I think many people are just tired of everything. They can rant on social media but that usually sets off the Law of Subtraction and is counterproductive. A better solution is to find a way to recharge, perhaps with one of these activities.

• A walk in the park with a friend
• Coffee with a friend – treat yourself to a favorite flavor or a decadent raspberry chocolate mocha
• A nap – Preferably in the sunshine… sunshine naps are the best.
• Read a good book curled up by the fire or under a very soft blanket
• Listen to your favorite music
• Eat something healthy but fun
• Exercise, perhaps some jumping jacks

If you are one of those burning the candle at both ends people, give yourself permission to step back and do something for yourself today. How do you recharge?

I bet all of you reading this have some of those tasks that just look impossible and  you think you can’t possibly do them, right?

For me, gardening and specifically gardening as organically as possible is one of the things I enjoy.

Last summer, I had my in-house carpenter team finally build the compost bins that I have been begging to have built for years. They sit at the back of our yard in the corner about 50 yards from my office door and the large tiered deck outside my office.

We have been composting for years but I was throwing kitchen scraps into the garden in a pile all of the prior years so I have been excited to be using my compost bins this winter.

Inspired by those who understand all the components in composting like Brent Pohlman from Midwest Labs, I have been faithfully dumping the eggs shells, coffee grounds, vegetable and fruit peelings into the pile so I can get this microbe metabolism going.

I live in Wisconsin but even that didn’t stop me from faithfully emptying the scraps into the bin regularly all winter long. However, I had the deck clear or at least Teddy was there to stomp a path for me. This last snowfall on Sunday dumped a new 14 inches of heavy, wet snow on the deck.

Impossible Task

Suddenly those 50 or so yards seemed like miles to me. I was doing the whole “I Can’t!” song in my head. The snow was too heavy. It was too wet. It was too far to the bins. I’ll get all wet. I can’t lift that stuff. You know the “I Can’t” song?

Believing a task is too difficult is easy.

I knew I had to at least shovel a path off the deck and probably somewhat further across the grass in order to get to the bins. This whole compost idea is my project and I wasn’t getting enthusiastic support from anyone else who would come out and be my knight in shining armor and shovel it for me.

It seemed impossible because I was looking at the snow. I was looking at how deep it was, thinking about how wet it was, and convincing myself that I could not manage the task.

Finally, I grabbed the shovel one more time and pushed through a path.  It didn’t take me more than 10 minutes to get a path off the deck, across part of the grass and then I just tramped through the rest of the way to get to the bins.

Start

That sounds really basic but when you are telling yourself in your mind that you can’t do something, the best thing to do is start. You probably will find it is not so hard of a job as you are making it.

Breaking the “I Can’t” into achievable steps

We convince ourselves that we cannot do something because we make the project too big in our minds. In order to get to the bins, I reminded myself that I needed a path. I’d like the whole deck clear but I didn’t need it clear today to get to my goal. I needed a path.

Give yourself a Reward

Whenever I have a job that I don’t want to do, I figure out a reward. It might be as simple as a lunch break or even a nap or a time to read one of my favorite books. Whatever makes you happy, give yourself a reward to look forward to when you get done.

Give this a try on the next project you are procrastinating or dreading and let me know your results!

Photo By Mel B.

Today was the day for me to go have blood drawn at the lab. This is part of me trying to follow a healthier lifestyle as I mentioned in Start with Exercise. I agree to go to the clinic to stabilize my blood pressure. I had to fast today so they could draw blood and check cholesterol and other levels.

Most of what was on my mind as I went to the clinic was the fact that I couldn’t have coffee or my banana this morning. Many people on Twitter and Facebook know I am early riser. My alarm goes off at 4:50am and I usually drink my first cup of coffee within 15 minutes of getting up. Today, I couldn’t.

When I watched the lab technician draw my blood, at first it was just the normal passive watching, but then I started thinking back to the blood draw for Teddy on Teddy’s Last Day. I must have shown something on my face because the technician asked if I was OK. All of the sudden, tears streamed down my face as I tried to explain how seeing the needles and vials made me think back to Teddy.

Dawn Bugni and others had told me there would be triggers that would remind me of Teddy for a long time. I just didn’t see this one coming.

What’s a trigger?

A trigger is something that makes you think back to something in your life, like the needle for me today. Triggers can be reminders of good things or bad things in your life. They may have little connection to the real incident or happening in your life but for that moment, they will cause you to react. The reactions for each of us may be different. For me, it was tears and some sadness. For others, the trigger can result in a rush of anger that to those nearby may seem irrational or out of character.

If you have lost a job, you may be triggered by something on TV that reminds you of the work you once did or something as simple as a can of Mountain Dew that you had on break every day.

When could a trigger come into play?

I was talking to Bridget Haymond, Truth for Life Coach, as I was writing this post. She was saying that generally when you experience a trigger, your first reaction is shock, then fear, and then anger. Other scenarios that triggers could play a role in are a bad diagnosis at the doctors, unexpected death of a loved one, divorce, or a cheating spouse. Triggers also play a role in recovery from addictions and can cause a relapse when you respond to the trigger by going back to an old habit.

I had been prepared for triggers that would remind me of Teddy because of my conversation with Dawn but I was not prepared for my reaction this morning.

You can’t predict when a trigger could suddenly cause you to react but understanding that they are there may help you to cope with them when they do happen.

Photo by babasteve

This morning, my husband dragged the Christmas tree out to the back of the garden. He bought a beautiful Frasier fir this year and no one wanted it to be taken down. We placed it right inside my office sliding door so it could be seen through the glass from the living room but be enjoyed by my clients in the office too.

Yesterday, January 9, I took all the decorations off and put them in their box. I had him go through the box of lights and throw out the ones that don’t work so we don’t need to wonder next year which ones work and which don’t. I’m putting a reminder in Outlook in November to look for new lights.

The removal of the tree left needles everywhere and after a quick vacuum, it was tempting to quit until another time. But I knew that if I moved chairs around, there would be more needles. So I continued to vacuum the office until I had the job done.

There is the old adage, “Eat an elephant one bite at a time” which refers to breaking a task that you are avoiding down into manageable pieces. But sometimes the temptation is to assume it means you don’t have to finish what you start.

Our family is filled with remodeling contractors and you have heard the expression, “The shoemaker’s children have no shoes…” and others like it. Our house has been in a constant state of remodel since the day we moved in in March 1992.

The setbacks are for multiple reasons but I find myself annoyed by incomplete projects. For example, one of the decks outside my office the guys started replacing in 2009 still needs the railing installed but  the team can’t agree on what the railing should look like. No one uses that over the garage deck but still it is an undone project on the front of the house.

Sometimes we have this attitude at work and in our job search. We do half the job (or less than half) and don’t finish. Many of us struggle with this syndrome.

Let’s examine reasons we don’t finish projects:

1. We get distracted by other things around us and don’t focus on completing a project.
2. We think the job is too big — the elephant concept could help you there. Break it down into baby steps.
3. We get interrupted. This morning as I was writing, a good friend called from the road as he was driving. Since we don’t talk often anymore, I stopped writing to touch base. This interruption was welcome and valued but too many interruptions make us unable to move forward with tasks at hand.
4. We fail to start. This is the reason I wrote my “You have to START to finish” posts. It’s a reminder to me to start in various areas of my own life.

As you continue to move forward in 2011, look at your own half-done projects (or job search) and see if you can move forward to complete them.

In your job search, it will help you reach your goal of finding a new job or career much quicker and if you are already working, it will make you more valuable to your employer. If you are a small business owner, you will be more productive and profitable by completing what you start.