How do you deal with disappointment?

image by mthaeg

I won’t lie. I am horrible at dealing with disappointment — at least at the initial outset. Right now, I am disappointed that the head cold I’ve been fighting for the last week is still here. But bigger than that, I am really bummed that the recent rain storm made new leaks in the roof.

Really the roof should have been replaced a long time ago. We moved here in 1992 and the roof wasn’t new then. But we had other priorities for this remodeling house. We replaced furnaces, windows, built decks, installed fireplaces, built a second bathroom downstairs, and a myriad of smaller projects.

Three major projects are left. My kitchen has been dubbed the demolition kitchen since we moved in. I really thought this was the year. The roof is another issue and very shortly the siding will need replacement. I thought I had figured out how to fund the kitchen remodel this year.

Disappointing news

But yesterday there was new leaks in the bathroom. And we have patched multiple spots before. Putting in a new kitchen before a new roof doesn’t even make sense. Now that it is leaking again, it makes even less sense.

A plan and a solution

We do have a plan. My youngest son, Dan, graduated from residential building and though his father, Bill, is a remodeling contractor, he is now working more than full-time as the caregiver for his dad, Bob. Dan will talk to his friend, Evan, who is a young contractor who graduated from the same program and who has all the equipment for roofing plus experience. Dan just put his own roof on last year and has roofed many houses before this.

Bill struggles with not doing the roof himself but I remind him that he never did roofs alone when he operated his company, he always had a crew. Bill’s time is tight now with Bob’s needs and winter is fast approaching.

Delay in goals

This will mean a delay (again) in my goal to have a new kitchen but there would be more disappointment if I was headstrong and said the roof could wait. All of our efforts could be ruined.

Getting buy-in from all the parties… Bill, Dan, and his friend Evan as well as any other friends who will help make the project go faster may take time.

We will need to carefully look at options, select the right materials, and plan timing to work out with the weather as well as everyone’s schedules. But if all goes well, we will be able to solve this problem.

Roofs are essential but they just don’t have the pull for me as a new kitchen would have had. But I will handle my disappointment and continue to save for the kitchen in the future.

How does this relate to job search?

Disappointment is almost too mild of a word for someone who has lost their job and doesn’t know when the next one will come along. But it is one of the feelings a job seeker has to deal with to conquer the loss.

You need to have a plan. You need to have the right materials (resume, cover letter, LinkedIn profile). You need the right expertise (if you are trained or willing to invest the time, you might be able to handle it yourself) but otherwise you need to hire someone to coach and guide you.

You need to accept the delay in goals. You will have to put some of your goals on hold until you conquer the big issue in front of you. But with renewed effort and careful planning, you won’t be derailed forever.

See job loss as a hurdle to conquer and figure out the steps and then you too can move forward with your life.