Why we hate the left out feeling

In a recent post I talked about numbers and why they don’t matter as much as we like to think. Today, let’s talk about the left out feeling. We all want to be part of the mix and part of the “in-crowd.”

It’s easy to feel left out if we don’t get asked to the party or included on the latest Twitter list. But in reality, we aren’t going to be on every list and be asked to every party.

True meaning of introvert and extrovert

Emotionally, most people are social people so wanting to be part of the group or the party or the list is inherent in our make-up. Even if your basic personality is more on the introverted side, you want to be included.

By the way, did you know that the true meaning of introvert and extrovert has more to do with how you recharge than your actual personality?

Introverts often can still be in charge of holidays, organizations, groups, and events and even be very successful in a lead role. However, they come away drained and relish being able to recharge at home with a good book or soft music.

The extrovert, on the other hand, if left at home too long will get antsy and want to get out and do something. They thrive in a crowd situation and sitting down with a good book is far off their list of favorite things to do.

No one likes the left out feeling

The introvert and extrovert both get the left out feeling and neither like it. The introvert may find it harder to take action to be included. They wait to be asked and want someone with them when they go to an event or gathering. Inside they may know if they would go, they would immediately find people happy to see them.

For the individual who already feels left out, job search creates a new burden. The introvert is often clueless on how to connect with the network they need because they are comfortable without a group most of the time.

For the extrovert, the problem is their network may revolved around work and reinforced by the role they played. Trying to reconnect when they no longer are in charge or hold a title is also hard for them.

Acknowledging how you feel does help

Develop a plan to overcome the left out feeling will help to get you back working much more quickly.

• Schedule lunches with close friends and ask for their help brainstorming.
• The social media networks work as well for introverts as extroverts because it is a process controlled by the individual. You aren’t forced to go talk to someone, posting information can get you a reply or a laugh.
• Volunteering can be another source to relieve the left out feeling. You can provide services to an organization and build new connections. Just doing something is helpful.

What are your thoughts on conquering that left out feeling?

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