Don't fence me in!

Photo by Jane Rahman

Jim Connolly’s post today, How to live without limits! really hit home for me. It was one of those short nights for me… not ultra short because I did sleep 6 1/2 hours but I was wide awake at 3:30am and I grabbed my phone to explore what was new since I went to sleep.

Checking my e-mail I saw his title and decided to read it. He said:

Who said YOU can’t?

One of the things we all need to learn about ourselves, is how to separate our genuine limitations from our fake, self imposed limitations.  Look at what you believe you can’t do and check the source of that belief.  For example, if you believe you can’t dance, who said so?  Was it a qualified dance instructor, who has seen how well you can dance after professional tuition, or are you basing that belief on the feedback you got, the last time you danced in public?

What if I can’t is one of those things that I hear from my clients all the time. When you are unemployed or wanting out of a job, you get filled with self-doubt. Perhaps at no other time does self-doubt kick in stronger than when you are challenged with finding new employment. The fear factor kicks in big time and you wonder if you will ever find the right job, if you will be able to do the job, if you will like the job, if you will like the people you work with, and if you will be able to keep the job.

Jim’s advice above is true for job seekers too. Check the source of the belief. What is making you think that way and what can change that belief?

I’m not a job seeker but I have spent the last 12 months going solo with my business in a way that I never thought was possible before. I challenged almost all my beliefs. I had clung to the non-profit contracts that I partnered with my business because people told me I couldn’t make it on my own.

When a friend of my sons said this:

You’ll never know if you don’t try!

my new adventures started. 

My limitation was a lack of focus on my own marketing and my own growth, sacrificed to keep the non-profits I managed running. Letting go of those commitments and contracts made me free to discover all the possibilities out there.

I am still exploring and growing and now I feel like dancing. Some days I do… my sons might catch me doing a little spin in the kitchen or a hop in the living room because I am joyful now that I am doing my own thing.

“You’ll never know if you don’t try!”


  1. Barb Poole on March 20, 2011 at 11:07 am

    This rings so very true, Julie! A colleague and friend, Jay Block, and I used to talk about the gap between values and beliefs. It is indeed knowing where those beliefs are coming from; and are they really inside you or something you’ve been told and thought was truth. There is such a difference. And those who’ve succeeded failed and failed and failed. But they tried. Had they not, the tale would probably have been less exciting and joyful. Thanks for sharing. And a big thanks to Jim Connolly too!

    • Julie Walraven on March 20, 2011 at 4:50 pm

      Thanks for stopping by, Barb! No one said it is easy but you gain so much when you try.

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Julie Walraven

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