No one can take advantage of you without permission

Photo by Tobyotter

I started my day today with a call to Dawn Bugni, my friend and colleague in North Carolina. Besides being a great resume writer and job search expert, Dawn has this way of telling me things that just stick in my head and don’t leave.

Whenever I get frustrated, I am likely to call Dawn, vent for awhile, laugh even longer, and go away with a new batch of “Dawnisms” stuck in my head.

The title: “No one can take advantage of you without permission” is one of them and she further expanded when I direct messaged her on Twitter:

“You teach people how to treat you.” Another of my favorites: “No one can take advantage of you. You allow it.”

Many people – including me, struggle with letting people run over us sometimes.

  • It could be at your job when a coworker piles on extra work and you are too nice to tell them no.
  • It could be in a non-profit as a volunteer when again, you just keep saying yes regardless of your own needs or schedule.
  • It could be in your jobsearch when you follow the directions of your brother-in-law instead of researching and listening to career marketing experts.
  • It could be in your business when you deliberately undervalue your services even though you know you should be pricing differently.
  • It could be when you take on responsibility that someone else in your family should have because you don’t want to make waves.

When I struggle with those situations, I take a new dose of Dawnisms and move on to a healthier attitude and more enthusiasm for life. How about you?


  1. gee backhouse on February 2, 2011 at 6:12 am

    So true, Julie. I’ve found it to take a weight off my mind when I’ve woken up to this fact! So thank you for reminding me! Gee 🙂

    • Julie Walraven on February 12, 2011 at 9:21 pm

      Having Dawn as back up helps, Gee… I’ll Share! 🙂

  2. Dawn Bugni on February 2, 2011 at 9:41 am

    Julie –

    Who knew our early morning conversation would trigger a blog post? 🙂 I enjoy our exchanges because in sharing insights we both grow.

    Blaming external forces for things that happen is easy. Taking a step back and examining, objectively, our role in our own circumstance is infinitely more difficult. But that objective examination is where we start to improve and take charge of our own destiny. We can’t control external forces; we can control how we react to them and our role in them.

    Great reminder!

    • Julie Walraven on February 12, 2011 at 9:22 pm

      Good points (again!) We can’t control external forces and there are far too many influencing my life. But I can control how they affect me. Thanks!

  3. Melissa Cooley on February 7, 2011 at 12:02 am

    Love the “Dawnisms!” Friends who help give a proper perspective on things are truly valuable.

    • Julie Walraven on February 12, 2011 at 9:23 pm

      True enough, Melissa! Life is a continual learning process and it is great to have good friends along for the ride.

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