Danger in predetermining you will hate something?

When we decide we hate something, it blocks our ability to think clearly. For example, think about the person who says they hate vegetables but they haven’t even tried the diverse array of vegetables or the many ways of serving them. These vegetable haters just hate vegetables because they are vegetables.

A long time ago, one of my sons had a friend who wouldn’t eat anything that was green. He determined if something was green, it was bad. Obviously, this eliminated many vegetables.

However, he had no problem trying new things.

This same young man saw a package labeled Gold Bars sitting on a counter (looks a little like a candy bar but it is soap), picked it up, and started eating it. He later confessed that he had tried the bar, but it wasn’t very tasty. Of course not, it was soap!

If he spent less time hating everything green, he probably would have enjoyed many vegetables. By the way, that young man grew up to specialize in health and wellness and now incorporates salads and other green foods into his nutritional planning.

Mindsets can be positive or negative

Unfortunately, when you have a mindset that you hate something, you set up roadblocks to a lot of positive experiences. It has been proven that a positive mindset changes results. By the same token, the negative mindset will likely end up with negative results.

How does predetermined hate play out at work?

I talk about the concept of change and how they feel about change with many of my clients. Many people set themselves up to all forms of change. This means that from the beginning they are predisposed to hating the change no matter what it is.

• Change policy — this person will hate it even if it makes sense and is actually a positive change.
• Change technology — A hardware or software upgrade will make this person angry. Don’t change it.
• Change in people — If this person gets a new boss or coworker, they will make up their mind that they hate them.

See the pattern? When you are predisposed to hating all forms of change, you will set your mind to disliking things before implementation, testing, or tweaking. It strikes at your insecurities when change happens. If you have settled into a comfortable way of doing things, you don’t want your apple cart upset.

Unfortunately, in my years writing resumes, I find that people who are too rigid in what they think they hate or unilaterally decide they hate any change find themselves without a job. While analytical and looking at all sides is an important trait, if you focus your analysis on the negative side and consistent are the naysayer, you may find that management can do without you.

How does your negative mindset impact your job search?

A person who has lost a job has to make a tremendous effort to overcome negative thinking just from the standpoint of the job loss. It is a loss of self-esteem and even a loss of self-identity. However, if you hold  that mindset, it blinds you to opportunities and stifles your ability to see possibilities. If you focus on how angry you are with your old company because you lost your job, you don’t begin to think about how you can channel your energy into being helpful to the next company. As difficult as this is, once you acknowledge that it is time to refocus, you can make headway in finding your next role.

Photo Credit