It’s not all about you

What do we mean, it’s not all about you?

A previous post talked about how you cope with the left out feeling. that feeling that you are left out of the list or party invites or social gathering, you name it, you feel left out. Another side of that personality coin is the need to be in control or its all about you syndrome.

Loss of Control

Job seekers easily feel out of control when they lose a job they have had for some time. The need to be in charge can be ingrained and suddenly they feel lost and out of control.

At that point, they can spiral into a depression-like response. True depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain. You should seek professional help if you or someone you know fits that diagnosis. But many others feel that kind of sadness when they lose control.

Job seekers feel it and entrepreneurs too feel it when they keep facing the endless cycle of ebb and flow in their finances. This is part of the reason many people bail out of self-employment or owning their own business within 3 to 5 years. The loss of control caused by total uncertainty of how much money will come in during the next month makes people feel uncertain and even upset to the point of quitting.

It’s not all about you

The job seeker or entrepreneur wants to believe that it is all about them. When things break down, they wonder what they have done wrong or they blame others even when they could have or should have done things differently.

In small business and in job search, there are many variable that are not about you. What is all about you is how you react to the variables. If your public persona is negative, you will repel the potential people who would help you.

Where do you start?

Changing the “it’s not all about you” syndrome means you have to work at working. If you are a job seeker, you need to make yourself look when you don’t feel like looking for work.

You are in a better place than ever before if you are out of a job because though the economy is challenging, the resources available are incredible.

If you are a business owner or freelancer, you need to make yourself market when you don’t feel like marketing.

See the parallels? Job Search is simply CAREER Marketing. Use the resources out there. Hire a professional when you can’t do it yourself or when you would be better off hiring someone because they can do it better than you can.

To get your job search working for you, simply click here!


  1. George Melanny on December 6, 2012 at 1:16 am

    You put it very well. A negative persona towards other people is a repelling attribute that drives the people who would have helped you away. The people with a negative persona will mostly try to find negatives in people instead of taking people as they are.

    • Julie Walraven on December 6, 2012 at 11:31 am

      Thank you, George, for stopping by. Very true and I am convinced that if most people got this and changed, they would see much more positive results.

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